"Not Barbara Jean's heart..." Oh wait. Same story, different decade.

Isn't it a shame that what is arguably the best story in soap history has been copied and butchered so many times that if it aired today, it would lose all its luster and relevance? That's unfortunately what's happened on General Hospital, where the story of BJ dying in a bus crash and Bobbie and Tony giving her heart to a gravely ill Maxie. Since then, the story has been repeated ad infinitum - on the same show, no less - and the latest attempt to capture the greatness of the heart-wrenching saga of the early 90s has proven to be the worst yet.

After Elizabeth's son Jake ran out into the street and got hit by a drunken, driving Luke, she and her two baby-daddies Lucky and Jason made the decision to donate the little boy's kidney to Carly and Jax's daughter Josslyn, who suddenly had cancer. Organic storytelling at its best, no? What made the story so insulting was how entitled Carly seemed to feel towards Jake's kidney, and how she made it all about herself when Elizabeth was reluctant. The one stunning, powerful moment in the story came when Jason asked Elizabeth to give Jake's kidney to Josslyn and she slapped him, reaming him out for abandoning her and Jake and accusing Jason of wanting to use Jake for "spare parts." If the entire story had been charged with that anger, that visceral tragedy, we may have had a classic story on our hands. Instead, we had yet another reminder that Carly is more important and entitled to whatever she wants than anyone else on the show. And where in all of this were Bobbie and Monica?

I know I'm being excessively negative about this story, but I really thought it was in bad taste and skipped over all the beats that could have played out for weeks and months. Instead of a nuanced, poignant story of loss and healing we got a speeding plot-driven mess filled with histrionics. Thumbs down, GH...
-Lee

You're a weak man, Charlie Banks

Hey, remember when ONE LIFE TO LIVE was must-watch soap and every day had you on the edge of your seat? Yeah, it was a long time ago. I thought things would be different this year, but so far, 2011 has not been kind to my favorite show. There are plenty things going wrong right now - the continued focus on the Ford family, the dumbing down of characters for plot purposes, recycled plot devices - but the thing that's disappointing me the most is the complete ruination of one of my favorite characters, Charlie Banks.

Back in 2007, OLTL was focused on revitalizing the iconic Viki Lord and the results were nothing short of magical. Viki found herself waiting tables in small town Paris, TX, becoming a mother figure to Gigi Morasco and most importantly, falling in love with fellow lost soul Charlie B. Free of the baggage left behind in Llanview, Viki was able to start anew with Charlie, who was also looking for redemption by searching for the son he abandoned when his alcoholism was at its worst. The early Viki/Charlie scenes were some of the most romantic scenes I've ever seen on a soap. (Watch the above clip to see what I mean) Eventually, Viki and Charlie found their way back to Llanview and, despite some rocky moments, have remained in love and there for each other.

Thanksgiving 2008 was my favorite Viki and Charlie moment of all time. As Viki broke down at her evil father's grave blaming him for her family's constant struggles with mental illness and abuse, Charlie rushed in and promises her things would change and that he'd never leave her or hurt her the way so many others had in the past. He solidified his promise by showing her the redesigned diner in Angel Square, now identical to the diner where they met in Texas. Beautiful stuff...

...Which is why I'm SO upset with how pathetic Charlie's become. Losing his son Jared after only a few happy years with him devastated Charlie and sent him back to the bottle. After finally letting himself grieve the healthy way, he and Viki reconciled and things looked to be back to normal. Unfortunately, the writers seem to love using Charlie as the show's resident victim and put him through the wringer thinking Rex was his son, only to learn Clint had set it all up. His constant emotional flirtation with former drinking buddy Echo DiSavoy was completely out of character. That he actually SLEPT WITH ECHO SOBER was absolute character assassination, and spoilers indicate that things are about to get much worse in Charlie and Viki's marriage, with Charlie doing something completely unforgivable in the coming days and weeks.

Those of you who frequent twitter and the other soap websites know that the fantastic Brian Kerwin has been let go from the show. This comes as no surprise, but why do the writers insist on ruining of all their male characters before shipping them out of town (think Schuyler, Eli and Cole)? If it was time to end the beautiful love story of Charlie and Viki, why do it this way? And why ignore all the great buildup and payoff the characters have had over the past four years? It's such a shame, and unfortunately other stories on OLTL seem to be headed in the same, odd (mis)direction.
-Lee

New Year, New Blogs

Hey guys!
Sorry we have been neglecting the blog lately, but don't fret, we will be back with all new opinions on your favorite soaps, and, occasionally, we will be offering blogs on prime-time shows.

Thank you for all your support of dayplayerdish. Remember to listen to the show at www.blogtalkradio.com/dayplayerdish. Look for exciting upcoming guests as we kick off year two of Dayplayerdish!!

Report Card: General Hospital

With high profile cast changes, popular couples being ripped apart and a riveting courtroom drama, what did Lee think of GH? Find out below...

The story so far: After being convinced by Dante to confess to killing Claudia, Michael was sent to prison. Jason managed to get arrested and become his cellmate and had a sneaking suspicion that Michael's bruises masked a far darker incident. Sonny and Johnny's feud escalated, culminating in Sonny shooting Johnny in self-defense. After losing Shirley and giving birth to Aiden, Liz left town to visit sister Sarah while Lucky went undercover in Ireland. Robin learned of Patrick's one night stand with Lisa while Lisa slowly unraveled, threatening to harm Robin and Emma, and Brenda Barrett slowly began to return to the fold...

What works: 2010 has been a good year for the show so far. The murder trial was riveting and showcased the talented Dahlia Salem as federal prosecutor Claire Walsh. The judge calling Sonny and his posse out as careless and irresponsible criminals was a long time coming, while Michael's stay in prison laid the groundwork for a potentially riveting story of what really happens to people in prison. Lucky has gotten his groove back now that he's temporarily out of Nikolas and Liz's orbit, while the potential pairing of Nikolas and Brook Lynn is adorable and a breath of fresh air. The long-gestating "Fatal Attraction" story featuring Robin, Patrick and Lisa finally kicked into high gear, with Brianna Brown finally getting to showcase her talent as Lisa continues to lose her mind.

What needs work: Vanessa Marcil's heavily publicized return to the show has yet to match the hype. When Brenda returned to town eight years ago, she immediately burst onto the scene in a major story focusing on Sonny, Jason, and Jax. This time around, Brenda is a supermodel hanging out in Rome with a rather irritating Adrienne Barbeau as her manager and Brad Rowe as her movie star boyfriend. Both Barbeau and Rowe are talented actors, but why should we care about them? It took nearly a month for Brenda to see Sonny and their encounter was dullsville compared to their rainy encounter at the church all those years ago. Back in Port Charles, the formerly charming Maxie and Spinelli have totally fizzled out as a couple, while Brook Lynn returned to town a trashy slut, unrecognizable from her former run. What happened to the funky, mature girl with the guitar we all used to like? Luckily, her dud of a story with Dante and Lulu is over and she's finally in a fun story with the usually boring Nikolas. Most infuriating is the fact that Claire recently slept with Sonny, making the tough lawyer just another in the long line of women not strong enough to stand the mobster's charm.

Suggestions: Get Brenda back in Port Charles. STAT. Decide what to do with Maxie and Spinelli once and for all. Find a way to salvage what's left of Claire and stop changing characters to fit the current story. Port Charles is a compelling place to visit every day; just stop sacrificing women at the altar of Sonny Corinthos.

Grade: B

Report Card: One Life to Live

Hey soap fans! In the second of our report card series we take a look at One Life to Live. Read to see what Lee thinks of Bennett Thompson, the army of new characters and the exits of longtime fan favorites.

One Life To Live

The story so far: After spending the greater part of the year watching Eli 'Bennett Thompson' Clarke terrorize half of Llanview, the show seems to finally be moving into new, more interesting territory. Clint seems to be plotting against everyone who's ever wronged him, manipulating Matthew into a mini-Asa, romancing humble and beautiful Inez, kidnapping David and ruining Dorian's life. Elsewhere, the teens have gone to college, Tea's still alive and being nursed back to health by Greg, and Todd is once again feuding with Ross.

What works: We're finally onto the next, hopefully less redundant chapter in the Eli Clarke saga and for that I'm grateful. Hopefully the town will find out that Tea is alive soon so the story can finally end. The 'veteran' set finally seems to have a real story, with Clint coming back with a vengeance and Kim Zimmer returning to the show to tussle with Viki and Dorian. Tea being alive is genuinely suspenseful, giving her inevitable return some great emotional weight.

What needs work: While 2009 saw the introduction of several new characters, they were for the most part connected to the canvas in dynamic and interesting ways. This year, on the other hand, has seen the introduction of a host of characters that are not only not connected to the rest of the canvas in any interesting or meaningful way, but we've also seen the exits of extremely likable and interesting characters. The beginning of this year started with so much promise; Kyle and Oliver, Kim, and Schuyler had fascinating and compelling stories and yet were all written off by April (Amanda Setton left on her accord but the role could have been recast). The show has tonally shifted from heartfelt and emotional to too-cool and (I use this term loosely) hip, with the introduction of the Ford/Salinger family, unrealistically headed by Inez, played by the talented but too-young Jessica Leccia. Jessica and Natalie have a shockingly trite paternity story brewing, while Christian and Layla have withered immensely from their promising romance last year thanks to the departures of costars Brett Claywell and Scott Evans and an atrocious and tasteless attempt at reuniting Chris with a brain damaged Jessica, who thought she was still in high school. Lastly, smarmy, slight Billy Warlock is totally miscast as Ross Rayburn, formerly a big, muscular hunk with anger issues played with much charisma by Michael Lowry.

Suggestions: Reign in the Fords, bring back the warmth and pathos the show has been lacking since the birth of Sierra Rose, and bring back the great payoffs the show has done so adeptly since Ron Carlivati began his tenure in 2007. Doom and gloom is okay, so long that the end result is the beauty and elegance this show was once known for.

Grade: C
--Lee

Primetime Spotlight: Desperate Housewives

The fall 2010 television season is in full swing, and over the next few weeks we’re going to be giving our opinions on some of the soapier shows on during primetime! We kick off our coverage today with a spotlight on returning favorite Desperate Housewives!

I have always been a fan of Desperate Housewives. It had a sterling first season, proving that the nighttime soap was far from dead. The mystery of why Mary Alice Young committed suicide captivated audiences and tied the entire cast together, while the trials and tribulations of the four central housewives were both relatable and over-the-top. Unfortunately, the show endured a rather upsetting sophomore slump and though it recovered in successive seasons, it never captured the magic of that incredible first season - until last Sunday, when its seventh season premiered.

Beginning with the surprising return of villainous Paul Young and kooky Felicia Tillman, the season premiere wisely kicked off several juicy and compelling stories that could carry us through the entire season. Finding good stories and mysteries has always been a struggle for the show - too often the season-long mystery has not involved enough of the central characters, and too often the four housewives have not had much to do. Sunday’s episode showed Bree once again without companionship, Gabrielle and Carlos lying to each other about two explosive secrets, Lynette scrambling to impress college friend Renee Perry, and Susan resorting to desperate measures to make some money. The final scene revelation that someone on Wisteria Lane was working with Felicia set up a fabulous twist - this season’s mystery isn’t a whodunnit but a “who will do it?”

The season premiere wasn’t perfect. Vanessa Williams’ new character Renee Perry has a little too much in common with her Ugly Betty character Wilhelmina Slater, while Susan and Mike’s romance has completely withered with their money problems to the point where I’m actually rooting for them to break up. All in all, though, this looks to be the season to beat for Desperate Housewives. Tune in Sunday nights for the best soap primetime has to offer!

--Lee

Report Card: All My Children

School is back in session, the soaps' fall story lines are in full swing and it's time for their grades! In the first of our Report Card series, you'll hear our thoughts and evaluations for All My Children. Find out which actors are doing A+ work, which stories need a change of attitude and which character needs a sweater.

All My Children

The story so far: In a surprising turn of events, Pine Valley's dastardly Dr. David Hayward was murdered at Caleb's fundraiser in front of the entire town. Whodunnit? Was it Ryan, our favorite anger-prone do-gooder? Was it Greenlee, the tortured and blackmailed wife? Was it someone else entirely? Time will tell, but in the meantime much of AMC is focused on its latest murder mystery.

What works: Compelling performances by Michael Nouri, Bobbie Eakes, Melissa Claire Egan and many other actors have elevated the decidedly generic material to a much more watchable final product. Nouri and Eakes have a very easy chemistry, one that I hope will be explored further in the coming months. Egan's Annie is a joy to watch, even when she's stuck in a story with three costars who aren't quite up to snuff. The quieter, more character driven stories are a hit as well; Debbie Morgan is doing the work of her career as the suddenly blind Angie, and the entire Hubbard clan continues to shine. Christina Bennett Lind is a find as Bianca, stepping into an enormous role with grace and elegance. I hope this sparkling newcomer gets a chance to shine on the front burner very soon.

What needs work: Enough with the murder mysteries already! It's quite clear that the writers have no idea who killed David and honestly, it is hard to care when there are so many other, more compelling characters without a story who are much more interesting than the forever tortured Ryan, Greenlee and Kendall. Speaking of things that aren't interesting, the Chandler family melodrama needs a big change, and soon. JR, Scott and Marissa are three very unlikeable characters for three very different reasons - JR is portrayed by Jacob Young as a wannabe tycoon without any redeeming qualities. Marissa, an ill-conceived character from the start, has become more milquetoast than ever, with quirky actress Brittany Allen not standing a chance against the extremely likable and fun portrayal of Annie by Melissa Claire Egan. Scott may as well be wearing argyle sweaters and picking flowers, because I don't buy Adam Mayfield's performance one bit as a smart, competent businessman.

Suggestions: Focus on the more relatable and interesting characters - Tad, Angie, Jesse, Damon, even Liza - and stop propping Ryan and Greenlee five days a week. Wrap up the murder quickly, cut the dead weight and bring the show back to basics with family and romance.

Grade: B-
--Lee